The Cruel Tutelage of my Professor

The Cruel Tutelage of my professor

The Professor's talisman

1.Today I will create a crisis situation so I can feel really alive.

2.Today I will work to lower my students' self-esteem.

3.I will laugh at a student today.

4.Today I will deliver my lecture starting from the end and working my way to the beginning

5.There are no stupid questions. There are only stupid students.

6.Today I will spend class reading my latest article outloud, including tables and references

7.Today I will answer each of my students' questions with a more difficult question.

8.I will quiz my students exclusively on the footnotes in the text-books

9.Today I will take credit for a students' work.

10.Never forgive. Never forgive. Never forgive. Repeat.

11.Student is the Enemy.Student is the Enemy...

12.Ignore me at your peril.

The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students

The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years